Each of us is an individual, each of us has some characteristics that are different from others. Over the course of our lives, the choices we make -- which job to choose, where to travel, whether or not to fall in love -- shape our personalities. You may feel unique in your eyes, but to an outsider, you may just be a "type." This means that you can be lumped in with a group of people who think the same way, speak the same way, and act the same way.
Similarly, our love lives can provide a lot of information about who we are, because people automatically categorize each other based on how they date, who they date, how long their relationships last, and so on. In fact, most dating identities have both positive and negative aspects. A woman who dates mainly rich people may be derided as a shallow gold digger or praised as someone who knows her worth. An older sugar daddy dating a younger sugar baby is considered a lustful guy or a man who attracts the prettiest women around.
But what about the rest of us? What is our dating pattern? Here are five different types of men and the meaning behind their love lives. So read on -- you might recognize some people you know... Even yourself.
Settle - Downer The settler downer is a man whose dating behavior might have been considered perfectly normal in the 20th century, but is now bizarre. He met someone in his teens, dated into his 20s, got married, and until now (as far as you know) only had sex with his spouse.
In a culture where dating apps and hookup sex are commonplace, men who settle down early in life are well placed to return to simpler times. On the other hand, it may be a sign that he is very afraid of the unknown and change. Of course, the person who settled down may have met his soul mate at the age of 15... Or he may be in a relationship that has expired because he can't imagine leaving suddenly. Intimacy with this person may seem good for a while, but if things end up going badly, you want him to feel free to date for a while before committing himself to the relationship.
Involuntary celibacy Incel (short for involuntary celibacy) is a person who, no matter what they do, seems unable to have sex with someone. He is usually heterosexual and often has a strange love-hate relationship with women, longing for their attention while excluding them as a whole. At the same time, it doesn't affect his relationship with his male friends, but when they settle down in a long-term relationship, he struggles because he feels it drives them apart. On the other hand, you can reframe his stubbornness and inability to find a partner as a kind of rough-edged self-love. He doesn't completely reinvent himself in search of a relationship or a sexual partner.
The player One who becomes a player in the world of exclusive dating is a guy who keeps getting lucky. His life is full of first dates, hookups, flirtations, trysts, affairs, hookups and angry text messages from despised ex-lovers. His sexual partner hit the jackpot the moment he got into his orbit, until things went downhill from there. Sex with him is a roller coaster, full of sexual passion and emotional drama. He's not interested in anyone (or can't) for more than a month or two, and he's probably sleeping with two or three other people.
Sure, being his friend can be exciting - he'll tell you his odd story - his wacky threesome, along with seven different people in the same week when he sleeps - but it can also feel very tired, as he'll give up much of the evening on another date.
Serial monogamy Serial monogamists are people who are almost never single. If you haven't heard from him in a few months, the next time you meet him, chances are he'll have a new partner in his life. He doesn't necessarily lose his temper with his sexual partner at an alarming rate, but the only constant in his life is a serious partner, which seems unhealthy, no matter who the partner is. He manages to channel attraction (whether physical, physical or both) without being lonely anymore, although it is a dream of many people, the fact that last year or two or more may mean that he is not an ideal boyfriend.
The lapse of the deceased At first glance, a late bloomer might look like a Involuntary celibacy... That is, until he turns the corner in his mid-20s or later. Whether it's a casual date or a first date, he changes from being always alone to being not alone. Watching a late bloomer mature can be a crazy experience -- on the one hand, you're thrilled to death with his ultimate success, on the other hand, it can be awkward and/or frustrating to see someone go through what most men go through early in their lives.
Of course, he could immediately turn into a serial monogamist, a player or a killjoy (or if things turn out to be a one-off, an angry Incel). No matter where things go, as a famous saying goes, it is better to have loved and lost, even in the latter stages of a game, than never to have loved at all.
Finally, although these types are recognizable, this does not mean that they are all consumed or carved in stone. You can transcend your dating history, and if you choose the right attitude, you can change your destiny. Now, go find a guy you like and start an exclusive date!